Sometimes I want to die?

7 people living in a one bedroom apartment. On the weekends there is nine of us. During the summer there is nine of us. I've been sober for 2 years now and having to face life with a clear head is depressing. My husband works and I stay home watching my 2 year old and my 1 year old granddaughter while my 23 year old daughter goes to school. My 17 year old daughter leaves this August for College so then there will be 6 people in a one bedroom apt. It's me, my husband, my 2 year old son, 12 year old son, 17 year old daughter, 23 year old daughter and her 1 year old daughter. Every weekend my husband's 9 year old son and 12 year old daughter stays with us. They stay with us for the entire summer. Right now I am up because there is no room on our full size bed to sleep. My husband is in the bed with our 2 year old son. There is no room for his own bed. This apt is falling apart. The children doesn't seem to help with keeping the place clean. I hate my living arrangement.